We all have heard about something called “Self-Love”. It is gaining importance especially in this era of social media. The essential reason of making people aware about loving themselves is to counter the feeling of self hate. The feeling of self hate is very easy to develop in today’s day and age. The sad part is that no one opens about it but a great chunk of people walk around us with the feeling of hatred for themselves and worthlessness. The need is to find where this problem stems from and what can we do about it.
Why do we indulge in Self-Hate?
Each one of us, you, me, and everyone else has an inner voice. This voice channel the anti-self side of our being. It reflects all the hatred, paranoia, suspicions, and other negative sentiments. It does not matter how man friends you have on any particular social media website or how many likes you get on your posts. This negative voice’s sole purpose is to comment negatively on everything that we do and alter our behavior. It consequently impacts our self-esteem and not in a good way.
You start entertaining thoughts that are on the lines of “You are good for nothing” and “You can never be successful in your life”. This can also lead you to act in a destructive manner. It all may sound a little too much in the beginning because a lot of us tend not to notice it. It sits in our consciousness and we often mistake what it dictates us to do with what we want to do.
How to put a full stop to Self Hatred?
The following are some ways that you can use to prevent the self hate thoughts to creep in the first place. Also, you can reduce and even eliminate the influence of self-hatred and the source where it comes from:
1. Identify your triggers
The first and the most important step according to me. If you are severely affected by self-hatred is to sit with your feelings and identify where they are coming from. It is not a one-time thing, that you would sit and figure out the triggers in specific. One way to identify the cause of your feelings is by keeping a journal.
We all have some triggers in us. With a trigger, I mean something which throws us off the track by surfacing our past emotions. These triggers can be anything, a place, person, situation, or some kind of environment. If you do not actually work out to find your triggers chances are you will be consumed by the hate itself.
2. Avoid negative thoughts
Be mindful of all your thoughts that enter your mind. Practice meditation to keep yourself more aware. The best way to do this is by throwing logic to your negative thoughts, anxious feeling, etc. The moment you begin to question your existing believes, you start taking control over in your hands.
3. Positive self talk
You can deploy tools like self-talk, you can talk yourself from “These are my achievements from the past” and “These are the people who love me unconditionally”. Look at the emotions to figure out why that emotion is there in the first place. It is all about trying and figuring out what these emotions are trying to tell you.
4. Surround yourself with people who makes you happy
It is important that you audit the people you surround yourself with. Know that people who are there with you will help you in tough times and support you. It is always a good idea to surround yourself with people who make you feel valued. Connecting with people always helps to dissipate negative feelings and thoughts. If you think you have no one to talk to, there are various platforms online where you can get in touch with the right kind of people.
5. Never hesitate to ask for help
Ask a friend or family member for additional assistance to help you. Maybe seek help from a therapist if you feel you have some tough things you would like to deal with. We all need help and life can not be lived all alone. If you have not found your tribe yet, who is there to help you in their capacity, put yourself out there to meet these people. Trust me, it will be worth the efforts.