John could not help but notice a change in the behavior of his co-worker cum friend, Roy. Roy had always been that one person who never fails to light up the room. He was a chubby-chatty guy by nature. Lately, he had become dismissive and snappy.
Roy used to be one of those people who’d come in before time and leave late after everyone. But he started coming pretty late and was in a rush to get done with the work as early as possible. John was worried about this behavior of Roy, but he did not know what to do. He thought things would automatically get better. With time, the friendship between John and Roy eroded, and a couple of months later, Roy resigned and left the organization.
This article will explore stress at u7uworkplace and how you can identify and support someone in need without getting yourself overburdened.
Understanding Stress
Stress is something that all of us know about and have experienced on multiple occasions. It can affect us in different ways in various phases of our lives. We are familiar with stress in all forms, be it stress in our day-to-day routine, career-related, work-life, or family-related issues. It is mostly unforeseeable and can hit us from anywhere, anytime. It is not necessarily bad. Stress can also be of two types; Eustress and Distress. Eustress is desirable and can do wonders with your abilities, challenge your limits, and gives you that extra boost of productivity. Experiencing Eustress is totally normal, but it becomes severely daunting (i.e., distress). On the other hand, distress is equally (if not more) detrimental to our mental health. It overwhelms you with your problem, makes you feel anxious all the time, and often takes a toll on your physical health. This article focuses on distress and how we can help people in distress with our support.
Identifying stress in others
We all experience stress, and every individual has different ways of coping. It generally happens when the expectation or the demand from someone exceeds what they can actually do or cope with. Like mentioned before, Eustress is a friend that can help you perform in certain situations. But too much pressure can be really stressful.
Even if your organization is sensitive to mental health issues and has active HR members, it is still likely that a friend or a colleague is having difficulty dealing with stress. Therefore as a team member/ friend, it is important to look out for people you think need your support. Here are some behaviors that could be signs of stress:
- Erratic behavior
- Restlessness
- Anxiety
- Procrastinating
- Losing focus
- Snapping at others
- Emotional unavailability
Why Support matters to people under stress?
Even when you know that someone around you is uneasy or under stress, it can be not easy to approach that person. There are high chances that you might be causing offense or making the situation worse for the person. This actually can cause the other person really angry. It doesn’t mean that you should not extend your support to the person in need of it. You must realize the way you can effectively help that person.
Your support can literally help the person in effectively combating stress. People who fail to cope with stress can have serious consequences on your mental and physical health. These problems can be caused by excessive stress, burnout, depression, sleeplessness, and fatigue. The challenges of stress are not just limited to the person who is suffering. It can go beyond and impact the people around them, their work, and other relationships.
The support you provide can take some weight off their shoulders and help you build a strong relationship.
How do we support someone who is in stress
In this part of the article, we will focus on how to help the person in stress and role in lifting them in spirit.
1. Build a connection
We often get the feeling that maybe the person next to you or your partner (can be anyone) is under stress. If you suspect so, make sure you go ahead, find a quiet moment, and ask them how they are doing. It may take some amount of courage and willpower to approach that person. Possibly, that person could be angry, frustrated, or upset about something. Therefore, it is necessary to be careful with what you are saying and make sure whatever talk you are having is private. Although it must be obvious, it is important to be iterated to be tactful and sensitive while talking.
You may approach the person in question is a neutral way and passively encourage him/ her to open up. You can say things like, “I have noticed lately that you seem a bit lost and preferring to stay by yourself all the time if you do not mind me asking. Are you okay? Can I help you in any way possible?” There is a possibility that the person might not want to talk, in which case you are expected to respect the person’s privacy. However, it would help if you let them know that you will be right there when he/she does want to talk.
If that person decides to open up, use your emotional intelligence (EI) and listen to the person with empathy and zero judgment. It will show the other person that since you are engaged, you actually care. Many a time, just knowing that someone is there for us, listening, can go a long way in relieving stress.
2. Eliminate the Root of the main problem
Stress is something that a myriad of things out there can induce. It could be at different intervals. Sometimes stress occurs at a regular interval (when preparing a monthly report or paying the bi-monthly installment of your loans). It can be continuous (having a difficult relationship with someone at home or workplace). It can also be a one-time event (stress of someone’s demise or a personal loss).
Before you jump on to supporting the person in stress, it is important to get to the problem’s root. You can reach out by asking questions to find the root cause of the problem. Open questions encourage others to talk about their feelings and help you know what triggered them. In a work environment, the problem can arise out of the following three sources:
- Work pressure: If the other person has too much work on their shoulders, more than they can cope with.
- Competency: When the other person feels that they do not have the right kind of skill set or tools to succeed and carry out their job.
- Relationships: When you do not get along with your co-workers or your boss. You get the feeling that others are aggressive, cold, and even hostile.
3. Suggest Practical Solutions
Depending on the source of the problem from the above section, you can recommend the following practical solutions and strategies.
3.1 Workload
More often than not, people with challenging jobs struggle largely because they fail to see the end to what they have to do. There are a lot of uncertainties and variable factors in a job that can cause excessive stress. It can also cause people to be more confused and disorganized. All of it becomes a part of the cycle which gets worse day by day.
You can start by helping your friends/colleagues to get organized. A To-do list is a great way to list, prioritize, and get done with things. It involves breaking down mammoth tasks into smaller chunks that are easier to handle goes a long way. It relieves the stress as you can see your distant goals in small and achievable fragments. Often, even remarkable hard work does not fetch the right result if the steps followed were not crafted with utmost care. It is like setting the route of the ship before it starts to sail. Even if all the care in the world was taken to follow the route and navigate the sea, if the checklist itself is “off,” the final task results will also be off.
3.2 Competency
Many times it happens that people feel lost in the job because of the competency. They feel that they are “out of depth” at the workplace. This can have serious consequences for the person even when it is not true. The person can feel extremely demoralized and debilitated.
It is essential to pull the person out of this spiral of self-doubt before it is too late. You can lift the person in question by reminding them of things they have achieve and the odds they have overcome. If you think there is actually a skill gap. In that case, you can suggest the person talk to their respective manager and undergo training for new skill development.
There are other things, and it might be “hard to swallow the pill.” There are chances that when a person feels that they are under-skilled and ill-prepared for the jobs. They can benefit from the change of role.
3.3. Relationships
Difficult relationships are one of the top reasons that cause stress. This relationship could be with your boss, co-workers, or someone from the leadership team at the workplace. There is always someone who sends your blood pressure through the roof. Listen very carefully to what your colleague has to say. Look into the matter and see if you can provide help from your end. See if you can give a different perspective. You mustn’t take sides as that could further make the situation worse. Just see if you can reframe the other person’s behavior in case there has been a communication problem or some misunderstanding.
However, there are absolutely unbearable behaviors (bully, harassment, and unfair treatment), encourage to be assertive and seek help from HR. In case your co-worker is not confident to talk about the situation by him/herself, you can go and talk on their behalf. Know that you need to have consent from the person, or it will be a breach of trust.
4. Extend the hand of friendship
You can not fight people’s battle for them. In some situations trying to help the other person can add to the problems. You can make little gestures for the person you think may need your support. Make coffee now and then. You can also accompany them for a walk. Nothing clears my mind better than an outdoor walk.
Even after all this, if you think the problem is serious and requires more attention, You can encourage your colleague to contact the employee assistance program. If there is nothing like that, then you can try and seek help from a professional.
5. Know your limits
The support you lend to your friend can be effective in easing the stress. At the same time, it is important to realize that your time, capacity, patience, and capacity are finite. There is a limit to the help that you may be able to provide without getting overloaded yourself. You may find yourself in a position that you are getting dragged down. It can even widen the gap between you and your co-worker if you are not very careful. Suppose you want to do the best for your co-worker but know that it should not come at the cost of your own well-being.
There are plenty of research papers out there that proves that stress can have a ripple effect on people who are close to you.
The last words
If you have tried all of the tips mentioned and nothing is really helping. It would help if you considered suggesting to your friend that they might need to seek professional help. Chronic stress is a serious issue, and it can negatively impact the entire life, be it marriage or other relationships. The doctor may prescribe you some lifestyle changes or some medications if needed.