“Of course, I will get on it right away”
How many times has it happened that you heard these very words come out of your mouth and immediately regretted it? Learning to turn down other people’s requests is an essential life skill and even more important at the workplace. Human Beings are social creatures. We strive on reciprocation and hate to put ourselves at places where we come across as confrontational. It is just the 2 letter word, NO, yet it takes more than just moving our mouth.
Saying “No,” as generally perceived by others, is not a sign of running away from responsibilities. It is more of a sign of standing for your own self. It takes commitment and focuses on realizing and asserting yourself without coming across as a jerk.
I personally feel that saying a “Yes” without thinking much about the consequences is a lot easier. We happen to say ‘Yes’ because we do not want others to think of us as mean, lazy, and unhelpful beings. But if you ever go through studies on workplace effectiveness, you will be shocked to learn that the amount of meaningful work we do in a week is much less than the hours we actually spend working.
How saying “Yes” is detrimental to your productivity
The primary reason we are learning the skill to politely turn down requests and say no is so you can do what really matters. Saying no is not running away, neither it denies yourself of something. It is actually realizing and choosing what actually deserves your time and prioritize things accordingly. Following the same logic, if you think of things that take up most of your time, you will be thinking of the ‘big-ticket’ tasks. Tasks that are vying for your time like your assigned deliverable, research work, project, and other big commitments. Things that eat up a large chunk of your time are rarely the culprit. It is the little things that we end up over-committing ourselves to. Small things get us overwhelmed, stressed and make us work longer than we should.
Often we are super optimistic about things and our own capabilities like our energy, focus, and attention. So, we end up saying yes to all the “quick” catch-ups and “This will take just one-minute” tasks that get tossed on our plate. This is where things start to go wrong.
Managing people’s expectations
Managing expectations is the key to keep everyone happy and avoid situations where you have to say a “No.” It is important you actively make efforts towards managing expectations before you shake hands with someone on a new task. For instance, if your boss is delegating you some new project, it is imperative that you openly communicate with him. Tell him all your current priorities, and discuss the completion date, keeping in mind the work you have in hand and other ongoing workloads. If it is a client and not your boss, make clear communication if it is likely to take some time before taking on a new task.
It is even important that you manage expectations on tasks or the project you are currently working on. For example, if the work you are doing has slipped behind schedule, you must convey it to the manager. Let them know that you will not be able to deliver on time, just this time. However, please make a point that you do not make it a habit. Ensure you work on your time estimation skills and come up with a better deadline when you enter the room for discussion on the project. Once you are done fixing a deadline, do all it takes to meet it, even if you have to work late or put in overtime.
Ways to politely say no to work
We all are social beings and love to seek the approval of others. Saying ‘No’ feels like an active attempt at getting on someone’s bad side. It can also mean that you are put someone else’s hard work in jeopardy in the workplace. If anything, you are doing yourself a favor by focusing on your priorities first. Know that your “No” is nothing but a “Yes” to more meaningful work that is actually worth your time.
It is super important to know how to deal with various stakeholders out there who might have to learn to say no to. These stakeholders can be your client, your boss, or your co-workers.
Saying no to meeting and other “Busy work”
To do deep, focused work, you can’t have your calendar look like sliced cheese. It is essential to protect your own rights if you are already in the middle of something serious. The following are some simple automation hacks to save your precious time.
- Add a block on your calendar: There is absolutely no way that you can get through a week without doing the busy work. Set aside one hour of your time based on your convenience. Please make sure you are realistic while you schedule it. You can also set aside half a day of every week for admin-related works.
- Take help of desktop application: You can use apps like Calendly to set aside time blocks when you are available for a quick meeting. This way, people will know when not to disturb you with trivial things.
Technology can be seriously used to revolutionize a lot of manual using automation. You prevent yourself from all the distractions that can take control of your own day.
Saying “No” to Your Boss
It can be super intimidating to turn down requests that come from your boss. Most of the bosses are of the “everything is crucial” type. Know that a good boss is supposed to be like a good leader/ manager who can bring out the best in you. Not the one that pushes you down with extra work, especially when you are already swamped. It might sound a bit crazy at first, but the ideal way of dealing with this situation is to explain to your boss all your current engagements and priorities.
Important v. Urgent
You must make your boss realize how you manage your time. If you spend time on something that is high value and does not just need your immediate attention, make a point that your boss knows. To do this and minimize the stress of tight schedules and crushing deadlines, we need to understand the meaning of what is important and what is urgent.
- Important activities: These have an outcome that helps us achieve our targets and meet our long-term goals, which could be in our professional or personal lives.
- Urgent activities: These are the activities that demand our immediate attention. In most cases, these are associated with someone else. These can have consequences if not dealt with immediately.
Suppose you succeed in letting your boss know which activities are important and which ones are urgent. You can overcome the tendency of wasting time on unimportant activities. This gives us enough space on our schedule to delegate our time on more important things. This art of segregation and knowing which task you should put before the other is constructive when there is a clash between you and your boss for work.
Frame your ‘NO’ statement
In case your boss asks you to do something and you are not sure if you have enough time or resources to do it. Make a point to frame your no in advance. You can frame it as a request to re-examine your conflicting priorities. The best way to deal with the situation is to let your boss know what you are working on currently and ask what should take priority. This way, you are not saying a flat NO on the face. It is an effective way that conveys you have limited time and resources. To add something on the plate, there needs to be something taken out at its place.
Saying ‘No’ to your colleagues
There is always some guilt that naturally comes up when we turn down someone’s request, especially from a co-worker. It is a fact that working in a team and as per everyone’s schedule can be jeopardizing your own meaningful work. The following are some techniques that you can use for saying ‘no’ here:
Share and make others acknowledge your work schedule
Make a point that you let others acknowledge (especially your co-worker) your schedule for the day. Let them know about your availability in advance. You can effectively do so by sharing your calendar and to-do list with your co-workers. Others can look at your schedule and see that you have “slots for meaningful work” in place. It becomes a good enough reason for turning down more work.
Rehearse how you will go about turning down work from your colleague
If you make a plan beforehand of turning down a request from another, it is very likely when asked. You will fall into it with your original intentions. Therefore, it is advised that you rehearse what you plan to say when confronted with a request. This will make your life much easier when the time comes. You will smoothly be able to get past the seemingly difficult task of turning down requests of work coming from your teammates.
Stay firm at your decision
More often than not, people come back and ask again if you are available. Although, it is easy to say ‘no’ again. But what is more important is to remember why you turned down the request in the first place. The other person will be more likely to be unhappy if you change your mind. Hence it is better for both yourself and your co-worker if you stay firm at your decision.
Saying “No” to a client or a customer
Saying “No” to a client or a customer is a totally different scenario than the other cases discussed. Whatever may be the situation but saying no to the client/customer can be a hard situation, especially when you know that there can be consequences for the people working in the bottom line. Instead of resorting to a flat “NO,” do think of alternatives. You can go about telling them who they can approach to get what they want. This way, they will get what they want, and your valuable time will also be spared.
Finally, it is important to include reasoning as to why you can not help the client with their requirements. As long as you are respectful, firm, and tactful, people will understand and move on.
The Conclusion
It is an important life skill to learn, to say no to people. Especially, you have things on your own plate. It is essential to realize and understand what the other person is asking from you. Suppose you think that the other person will not contribute any value to you against your commitment. Probably it is best to say NO.
Most people make mistakes when they overestimate their potential. They take up voluntary projects and tasks without paying heed because they already have their hands full. From a distance, it may seem right that you are taking the initiative and taking up tasks while pleasing people by not saying ‘no.’ This can sometimes fall back on the person. When you overcommit, you become susceptible to burnout.
It is just impossible to do everything and please all the people. It is important to protect your rights if all it takes from you is to say “NO” wherever necessary. When you know that you have to say ‘No’ to someone, find common ground where you both can have a win-win. Therefore, you must learn to say no to people and focus better on the work you already have.