Self-confidence is a shining silver armor of a modern-day person. Everybody, regardless of their background, admires a person who exudes confidence. We often tend to envy confident people, and they seem to be comfortable with the situation both in personal and professional life. They, by default, attract the trust of others and inspire people who are around them. All of these things make a self-confident individual attractive.
It may sound easy to be confident in yourself while you read it, but it is not. Particularly so if you are a self-critical individual or if you are constantly put down by others. Although, there are ways you can take to boost your self-confidence organically. In the following part of the article, we will evaluate self-confidence and why it matters now more than anything. We will also look at basic lifestyle-related tips to believe in yourself and how to be happier and effective in both life and your work.
What exactly is Self Confidence?
Self-confidence comes when you have the understanding to trust your own judgments and abilities. You must value yourself and feel worthy, regardless of your shortcomings or what others may believe about you. We often interchangeably use words like self-esteem and self-efficacy with self-confidence, but they carry different meanings.
Self-efficacy has more to do with our perception of ourselves (and of others) about mastering skills and achieving goals. This encourages us to believe that if we learn and work hard enough on a particular skill, we will acquire that. This type of confidence is essential to acknowledge challenges and keep going in the face of challenges.
On the other hand, self-esteem has to do with the belief in being able to cope with your situation and be able to remain happy. A big part of our self-esteem comes from external validations, in other words, feeling that people around us approve of us. The chances are that we may or may not be able to control this. If we attract a lot of criticism and rejections from others, our self-esteem can easily suffer.
Why it matters?
Self-confidence is critical in most of the phases of anyone’s life. People do understand and acknowledge how important it is to have self-confidence, yet people struggle to achieve it all their lives. It becomes an inextricable vicious cycle. People who are not self-confident are less likely to succeed in life, and with no success, they lose even the slight traces of self-confidence they had. For instance, if you have a lot of money to invest in people’s businesses. Would you invest in someone confident about their idea, answers your questions clearly, and assures you. Or someone who is feeble, visibly nervous, constantly apologetic.
Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their friends, family members, colleagues, and even bosses. Therefore, gaining confidence and invite the trust of others is a significant ingredient of your success. In the rest of the article, we will see how we can build self-confidence and help ourselves succeed in life.
Projecting Confidence
Learning to project confidence is helpful in many ways. It brings additional strength to your perceived self. Often, the thought or ideas we are trying to convey are mixed and have confusing signals. In this part of the blog, we will see how we can display confidence with positive body language and help us reflect on our openness.
Give importance to First Impressions
There is no debate that first impressions matter A LOT! As the name suggests, you only get one shot at it. You either make it, or you don’t. Although no study unequivocally concludes a set time, an average person takes to impress someone. But all the studies agree that you have less than 30 seconds to create a great impression. So you got to pack a lot in such a brief time to create a good impression.
These are some really easy to follow body language tips that can help you make a great first impression:
1. Keep an open posture:
You should try and feel as relaxed as you can but do not slouch. There are some basic things that you should always follow, like standing and sitting upright and not stoop while you talk. It would be best if you also refrained from having your hands on your hips. Doing so can make you appear larger, which can be perceived as aggressive or dominating.
2. Shake hands firmly:
Whenever you are shaking hands with someone, have a firm grip. But the catch is that you should not get carried away with it. I am sure you obviously do not want to make it awkward for yourself and the other person. Remember not to grip tightly that it becomes painful; if it does, you will be perceived as rude or dominating.
3. Good eye contact
This one is a little difficult because they are high chances things can go wrong. It is about trying to hold the gaze of the other person from time to time. Do not stare into the eyes for very long that it gets scary for the other person. Make sure you blink your eyes in a normal fashion.
4. Try to not touch your face
People who touch their faces very often come across as underconfident. Also, there is another common perception that people touch your face frequently when they are dishonest. However, this is not something that you should use to base your judgment. Yet you should avoid fiddling with your hair or touching your mouth or nose while you are talking. You never know; maybe the person sitting across from you may be judging you based on these gestures.
How to be self confident?
There are multiple ways where you can showcase/ demonstrate your self-confidence. It could be manifested by your behavior, body language, how you articulate, and what you articulate. Things like projecting a positive image of yourself to others can help bolster your self-confidence. It is not about “fake it till you make it.” Just projecting yourself with confidence and knowing how to hold your ground can land you in good places, and the positive feedback that you get can help you enforce the confidence for the future.
1. Value yourself over anything else
The most important ingredient that goes into being self-confident is realizing your own value. It enables you to get a clear understanding of yourself, your value to the organization or team you are a part of. Your belief in yourself is the sole foundation of your very self-confidence and assertiveness. It will ensure that you realize that you deserve to be treated with all the respect and dignity. I will encourage you to raise your voice against unjust elements and stick up for what is right. It also helps you to protect your boundaries and recognize your true needs and wants.
One thing you should remember is that you mustn’t develop the feeling of self-importance on any level. All your needs, wants, desires, and feelings are important but do not supersede others. They are just as important as others.
2. Learn to express yourself in the positive light
Communication is indispensable, and you should always speak your mind, even when there are difficult issues to deal with. It would help if you did not forget to do it constructively and with the utmost sensitivity. Learn not to be afraid of anyone, especially when you are speaking for your rights. It is even okay to be angry but do not lose control over yourself. It is imperative to stay in control, keep your emotions within limits, and be respectful throughout.
4. Taking Positive Feedback and Avoiding Destructive Feedback
Feedback is an important ingredient of great performance, and it plays a significant role in boosting your professional career. Your self-confidence will grow, and it will be well reflected on your superiors and co-workers that you truly care about your job.
All sorts of destructive feedback make you uncomfortable and challenge your ideas and identity. It is more of destructive criticism. Hence, it should be dealt with accordingly. It often hurts pride and can negatively affect your self-worth, self-image, and confidence. It can be directed towards you out of the thoughtlessness of someone. It can also be a deliberate attempt to gaslight with malicious and hurtful intent. All of it may induce anger and other negative behavior in you.
5. Be kind to others
It’s all about how you treat others and how others treat you. You can go with the universal law of karma, which states that everything works in a circle. Therefore, what goes around, comes around. Like that, if you will always be kind to others, others will also be kind to you. Positive people always make requests, use words like please, sorry, etc. They interact with everyone with warm looks, a big pleasant smile, and eye contact. Their habit of being kind and helping others will make them feel happy and positive because when you help others, you will get a positive vibe, and your self-confidence will boost up.
6. Positive Affirmation
Affirmation is a statement we often tell ourselves what we perceive to be the truth. It has multiple benefits and has helped thousands of people make significant changes in their lives, like becoming more confident. Practice saying an affirmation to yourself multiple times a day. Tell yourself that you are confident with yourself and everything you do and repeat that multiple times daily. An ideal time for speaking out your affirmation is in the morning when you are getting ready for your work. You can look at yourself in the mirror when you repeat your affirmation. You can say the affirmation late at night, right before you plan to hop on your bed and sleep on it. This exercise is based on mindfulness, and it furthers the agenda of positive affirmation.
7. Using Assertive Communication Practices
Some techniques can very well come in handy for you and help you communicate assertively and build self-confidence
Use the “I” statements
Use the “I” language as much as you can to communicate any assertion and get your point understood. You should use phrases like “I feel,” “I think,” or “I assume.” For example, “I feel that government is handling the farmer issue with no diligence.”
Empathy
Always express and recognize how the other person feels about the given situation. After taking the other person’s point of view into perspective, express what you need.
Asking for time
More often than not, we find ourselves so overwhelmed that we do not know how to respond and what to respond with. Instead of going ahead with baggage of emotions, it is often better to ask for time in such situations. That extra time will give you just enough time to collect yourself and formulate a response rationally. For example, “Haresh, your request is a little offbeat, and it has caught me off guard. I hope it is okay if I get back to you in the next 30 mins.”
8. Have Clearly Defined Goals
Having clearly defined goals give you a long-term vision to achieve great heights and short-term motivations to get over tough days. It orients you to acquire more and more knowledge and helps in organizing your time and resources so that you can make the most of your life and be more confident about yourself. Having clearly defined goals in place can boost your confidence as you can see, measure your achievements, and know that it is worth the grind.
There are high chances you have heard about SMART goals already. It stands for
- Specific: Goals with real numbers that you look forward to achieving with the set deadline.
- Measurable: Make sure what you plan to do is trackable.
- Attainable: Your goal should be challenging yet attainable.
- Relevant: It should be improving the function and should align with your broad vision.
- Time-Bound: Be specific with the date and time of completion and make a point that you stick to it.
You can keep this acronym in your mind to help you set goals in the right way. Because the more goals you achieve, the more confidence you will garner.