“The leader of the past was a person who knew how to tell. The leader of the future will be the person who knows how to ask.”
Peter Drucker
If I ask you about your feelings around the word, “Performance Review.” I am sure it is not something that would bring in the feeling of euphoria or excitement. The ritual of Performance Review makes both the managers and the employees sweat. Managers save up all of their documents and comments for this one day. Gather all the constructive criticism from the entire and wait like a big cat ready to pounce. We know it is an unnerving process, and I am sure we also acknowledge that it should not be like this. It is just the wrong emotional environment in which we should discuss and talk about our performance, introduce suggestions and talk about our goals for the future.
Feedback essentially is an amazing tool that can push anyone to be a better version and catalyze their journey to the goal. When you use feedback correctly, and with honest intentions, feedback can help you get outstanding performance. It is employers’ duty to make their employees aware of what they are doing and what needs to be done better.
Both giving and receiving feedback is an essential life skill. It takes a lot of practice to get things right. When it comes to receiving feedback, we assume that it is the client’s prerogative or your boss to hand you your feedback. There are times when people refrain from giving feedback, even when they are dissatisfied. Therefore, it is important to be proactive about getting feedback. In the following article, we will learn how to deal with feedback (giving/ receiving) effectively.
Benefits of Feedback
Let’s say you have worked hard for a year now, accomplished all you set professional goals for this year. Things are going smoothly so far, you can meet your targets, and your morale is high. At your annual review, the hammer drops on you. In the one-to-one review meeting with your boss, you are told that your work has not been up to the mark. Despite all the visible indicators, your boss has put you on a hot seat and has told you that your work is disappointing. What would you do now? How will you react to something that can have an impact on your overall career? One thing is clear that it will bring about emotional turmoil in you, and acting on your instincts would not be the best thing to do. So now what? Know that you can not fix something that you do not know is broken.
Feedback is an important ingredient of great performance, and it plays a significant role in boosting your professional career. Your self-confidence will grow, and it will be well reflected on your superiors and co-workers that you truly care about your job. On the other hand, if you are made deprived of feedback, you will feel that your contributions are not valued. This can make you question the significance of the work that you are doing. It can also damage your morale and self-esteem. Therefore, it is essential to ask for detailed feedback from time to time. Staying totally blind till your annual performance review will make it like a strike of a wrecking ball. Another benefit of actively seeking feedback is that you do it on your own terms when you ask for feedback. You are totally braced up to hear whatever good or bad that is there. Also, it looks where good on your part and shows how much you want to learn and grow.
Types of Feedback
When challenged by another person, it is natural to have negative thoughts, but the decision to act on those thoughts has a bearing on what you want to make of your life. It is better to identify ways to benefit from feedback. It will make you a better and more able person. Learning the types of feedback will help you identify the difference between feedback that you may receive:
Constructive Feedback
This type of feedback is relatively easier to accept. Constructive feedback highlights your mistake and also shows how improvements can be made. It would help if you looked at it as useful feedback for your personal good rather than seeing it as a downfall. Whatever feedback may be, in either scenario, try to look for what is in it to improve and use it to your advantage.
Destructive Feedback
All sorts of destructive feedback make you uncomfortable and challenge your ideas and identity. It is more of destructive criticism. Hence, it should be dealt with accordingly. It often hurts pride and can negatively affect your self-worth, self-image, and confidence. It can be directed towards you out of the thoughtlessness of someone. It can also be a deliberate attempt to gaslight with malicious and hurtful intent. All of it may induce anger and other negative behavior in you.
Giving Feedback
Before you start giving feedback, make a point you are clear with your intentions. Know WHY do are you doing it in the first place. The primary purpose of giving feedback is to improve the situation or the other person’s performance. You won’t be able to accomplish it by being harsh, rude, or offensive. If your intentions are clear, the other person will know it for sure and be keener on receiving feedback.
1. Take care of the time
Do not wait for a special day or month to give feedback. The closer to the event you address the issue, the better it is for both parties. Know that your feedback is not something that you need to surprise someone with. Think of it like this: It is much easier to provide feedback about a one-hour job (done recently) with not so great performance. As compared to a whole year of failed one-hour jobs.
2. Make it a regular thing
Feedback is something that needs to be done continuously. It should rest itself on one single day of the year/ quarter. Please make a point that you say it when something needs to be said. This way, everyone has a clear idea of where they stand all the time. There sure will be a few surprises here and there. This way, you are clogging the source of the problem at an early phase. You should not wait for the annual reviews etc., but simpler/ informal feedback should flow whenever required. This way, you are also doing a favor to your employees as a manager. With the informal feedback system in place, the process of formal feedback would be something they’d dread or be surprised about.
3. Be as specific as you can
It is imperative to let the person in question know things clearly and concisely. This way, they will know exactly where they need to work. This way, you leave minimum scope for ambiguity, and the facts conveyed are clear. People generally leave feedback answered subjectively. Saying that you acted there in an unprofessional manner. What is meant by unprofessional is not specified if the person was too loud, too casual, or poorly dressed?
Always make a point to stick to the facts that you know first hand. If you give feedback based on what others have told or someone else’s views, you will find yourself on shaky ground.
4. Talk about positives as well
It is a good practice to start your feedback with something positive. This enables the person in question to be at ease. Tell them what success looks like and how you can help them by pointing out what can be improved. Also, if possible, try and end the feedback on a high. Otherwise, the person would feel dejected and worthless. This technique is called the Sandwich feedback technique, wherein you deliver negative in between two positives.
5. Take follow up
Feedback is an ever-evolving process, and the purpose of it is to improve performance. It is your prerogative to make sure you can solve the purpose of the feedback. Check whether or not your feedback has been of tangible benefits, and then make changes accordingly. It is wise to document your conversation and discuss what is working and what needs to be done.
Getting Feedback
1. Know the type of feedback you are receiving
It is essential to know whether the feedback is constructive or destructive. Is it hurtful or to help you or make you grow? Refrain from going with your first natural reaction. Often the first reaction that criticism elicits is anger and aggression. Learn to take a step backward and try to look from a wider perspective. More often than not, people’s remarks and judgments can help us see things about ourselves which we are unaware of.
Suppose the feedback coming towards you is from a teacher or your parents meant to make you feel better. It can also be from some jealous person who has intentions to hurt you. So before you decide on anything, knowing the difference is the key.
2. Learn to accept that you are not perfect
We sure feel bad when we hear someone give the bad feedback, but you need to look at the larger picture. We all are humans, and humans make mistakes. If you are constantly getting constructive feedback, consider yourself lucky. It shows that you need improvement, and it is a great thing in the long run. Get a fact straight that you do not have to be liked by everyone. It is absolutely normal to be that way. People often start to defend themselves and begin to make random excuses. It is wiser to listen to what people have to say, accept where you were wrong. This is how you embark on the journey of constant learning and becoming better. Of all the things, it is most important not to make the same mistakes again and again.
3. Refrain from responding at the same moment
This one is in continuation of the previous point. When someone points out something wrong in your work or, let’s say, your attitude, do not act on it. The general reaction could of anger and aggression. Remember that anger clouds your judgment and even compromises your rationality at that moment. Decisions made in anger or some other form of extreme emotions do not make things better. Maybe the person is giving you valuable, constructive criticism. It happens that not a lot of people have amazing delivery when it comes to criticizing. Even most of the constructive feedback is coated as if they are bad.
The ideal way to deal with this situation is to take a step back. Cool down and try to rationalize things. Think of the feedback when not in a hurry. When you are calm and relaxed, your mind functions better. When relaxed, thinking will let you see things in an all-new way that you would have missed in aggression.
4. Never take professional feedback personally
A lot of people make this huge mistake of taking feedback personally. Everyone aims to do their work diligently and with the utmost care and hold it close to their hearts. When someone gives negative feedback on your work, you tend to flip. Please keep in mind if it is constructive feedback about you and not on your overall personality or anything like that. Learn to look at it as guidance and not as anything else.
Sometimes it is the other person with sheer toxic tendencies. Such people have their own issues that they are not able to cope with. They tend to manifest it in many ways. It could be a display of anger or jealousy, and in reality, it is the suffering, not you.