Before we jump to anything, it is essential to understand what effective communication means. In this blog, we will not discuss traditional communication tips like being assertive and having command over the language. Rather we would focus on considering context, delivery, and most importantly how the message is heard.
Effective communication is communication that is received in the way it is in.
Katz
Communication is only effective if it is received in the right manner. Regardless of how much effort you put in or how beautifully you communicate, if the other person did not understand then it is ineffective.
It is like tossing a ball towards the recipient to catch it. For the entire process to be effective, it requires a good toss and a completed catch. It helps if both the players are ready and motivated to complete the catch. If the ball is not tossed well, it will not reach the recipient, or if the recipient is not ready, the catch will be dropped.
What does it entail?
Good communication is not always about being assertive, although being assertive helps you transfer your message, but other times it may not work. Understanding the context is the most important concept of effective communication. For example, delaying the communication is the best thing you do (if the person is in a bad mood, it may not be the best time to engage). Sometimes being aggressive can help you communicate well (preventing your kid from running on a busy street). Sometimes assertiveness can be considered too pushy, the message will be received but not in the way intended.
It is imperative to package what and how you say. For instance, if someone is impulsively sharing their hurt and angst without paying heed to the outcome. You want to express that you understand their feelings and want to communicate so that they come closer, If the communication is not thought after and well packaged, it may end up increasing your distance.
How to become better at it?
Know the context
Instead of following one strategy, it may be effective to have multiple strategies in place depending on the situation. It is imperative to be receptive to the environment and the background. Read the context of the situation and know how the person’s feeling. Ask yourself if there is something that the recipient is going through? Are they upset about something? Is it a good time to communicate? Is the person on the other end ready for what you have to say? Are you in cognizance of the sensitivities of the matter or the past of the recipient?
Gauge your emotions
This is a big impediment to effective communication. You should know if you are irritated about something, it could be unrelated to the person you are talking to. Are you triggered about something from your past? Stay cognizant of how you feel before you go and start dropping word bombs on people. The other person may not know where you are coming from and what are your intentions. Better is to take a breath and ground yourself before you start communicating.
Get the essence of message before sending
Before you begin with your communication it is extremely important to know your message is clear with what you have to say through it. You should try and not send a mixed message. A mixed message is like tossing balls in two opposite directions. Worst of all is that you expect the recipient to get the right one.
For example, if someone says that they are fine but their body language says that they are upset, then what are they really conveying? what should the recipient do about it? Should the recipient go away, give space, move toward, or ask another question?
Be a good listener
The ability to be a good recipient is better than being able to deliver good communication. It is important to not just listen to voice but also the tone, body language, etc. It is said, that if you are able to read the other person’s feelings you are likely to reflect and communicate better. When people feel that they are heard, they feel way more comfortable and they themselves open up to hear what you have to say. Another important tip is to reflect when you are listening to someone, it is not just a confirmation that you are hearing them but it makes them feel good.