We know that behavior change is instrumental in achieving any goals we want. Experts more often than not, through various media channels make it sound so simple. The truth is, any change; be it your diet, exercise, dependencies, habits, or anything else, changing behavior is one of the hardest things you will ever try to do.
You can look at it this way, a study conducted in 2018 at Columbia University concluded that 80% of New Year’s resolution does not even last till the end of February.
The question we face now is that a few among us are able to endure sustained long-term healthy changes in our behaviors, and many just terribly fail. The point to understand here is that changing behavior is an inside to outside process and not the other way around. This means people try to pick new habits like everyone else is doing, without paying due diligence and realizing that no two people are exactly the same. This does mean that technique used by someone to change their behavior will not work on everyone. Therefore, it is essential to look inside and understand how you as an individual are different and make changes from there.
Below, there are 5 reasons as to why changing behavior is difficult:
We try to eat the entire elephant in one go
Behavior change itself is a mammoth task and we often try to take a leap and try to change the entire behavior in just one go. It is simply not possible to see the change in your behavior all at once. We need to know where to start, and where to head from there. The course of action should be particular as well as measurable. Instead of saying “I am going to exercise daily” you should say “I am going to walk down from work” or “I will only use the staircase from now”. All of these small behavioral changes engage over time and lead to cumulative change. In order for you to align these cumulative changes, we need specific goals. These goals also should be realistic, actionable, and measurable.
Our past dictates our behavior
There are some deep reasons why we fail to change our behavior. If we are not successful in bringing the change we want to see in our-self, it is not because we failed in the process. Many times we are not conscious about the consequences of our past and our belief system. Our history and associated beliefs help consolidate as who we are. When we try to change, the same past and beliefs act as impediments.
We tend to walk towards “Homeostasis”
All the living matter in the universe has a tendency to take the path of least resistance. Trying to keep the things as they are. We prefer to stay in our comfort zones. A state where we feel safe and secure, and where we can get without consuming much of energy.
The key to breaking this “sameness” is by being conscious. Always have it in your mind that you are into the process of changing your neural connection. Stay cautious to not return to the same path and steer yourself away from the change.
We are motivated by negative emotions
We often are mistaken to think that the feeling of remorse, shame, fear, and guilt will give you a wake-up call or break the inertia for you to change. But the truth is just the opposite. It could help you stick to the change you want to see just for a brief time. Negative emotions trigger us to think of all the things we have done wrong or have failed. Negative emotions are not good or even a sustainable fuel to drive your motivation for change.
We forget that failure is also part of the process
If you try to make a change and you failed, you should be assured that you have not done anything inherently wrong. It is one of the sturdiest truth of the behavior change and part of the process. Failure can happen more than once, and it is absolutely ok. Failure offers us more about what deserves your attention and energy. Actively, try to ensure that mistakes are not repeated time and again. Most of the people who are able to make successful changes in the behavior are the people who always factor in the failure. They see failure as a step and not the end of the process.